Sorting Hat Anonymous: Once Upon A Time

Hi, I’m a blogger and I’m addicted to sorting fictional characters.

About two and a half billion light years ago, we put up our first Sorting Hat Anonymous Post, and finally–finally!–we’re doing another one. And really, what better to do than OUAT, especially with the way Season Six ended? (Emma and Killian got married and Clara had a total fan girl freakout session).

Just a quick refresher on how we sort: we look first at the character’s personality, and what house the Sorting Hat would suggest for them, and then we’ll consider what house that character would actually want.

Allon-sy!

EMMA SWAN
The Savior (Slytherin)

Emma’s pretty obviously a Slytherin at the start of the show. She’s self-reliant and adaptable, floating through life without ever making any real attachments. Betrayal hits her hard—she put her trust in Neal completely, and was absolutely devastated when he “abandoned” her. And even after she discovers Storybrooke, Emma is still a Slytherin through and through. When she decides to trust someone, that person becomes her top priority—hence her plan in Season Two to take Henry back to New York and keep him out of harm’s way. She’s ambitious and driven, and once she has a goal in mind—whether that be bringing back the happy endings or saving her parents—it becomes her fixation.

 Emma’s relationship with Hook shows how emotionally detached she can be; she isn’t comfortable with expressing her feelings and she constantly struggles with “letting down her walls” and confiding in people. Emma’s character arc certainly grows over the course of the show, but that doesn’t mean she ever changes houses; rather, all she does is learn how to use to use her Slytherin qualities more effectively.

SNOW WHITE
Mary Margret (Hufflepuff)

Okay…how is Snow anything but a Hufflepuff? She’s loyal, dedicated, caring, hardworking, dependable, and [insert ANY OTHER Hufflepuff trait here and Snow has it]. What’s more, everything Snow does reflects a sort of Hufflepuff fairness. She stops Regina’s execution, even after the woman ruined her life; she is kind to Regina when Regina’s disguised as a peasant, even though she has no idea who she’s helping; she’s all for Hook and Emma’s relationship because she believes in second chances. Snow’s biggest problems ultimately come from her intense loyalty (much like a Slytherins’, just a little kinder) or her annoying enduring optimism. So basically—she has stereotypical Hufflepuff problems.

PRINCE CHARMING
David Nolan (Slytherin)

If you’d ask Charming what his Hogwarts House is, he’d undoubtedly answer Gryffindor! Which seems like a legitimate claim…until you actually consider some of the man’s actions. Sure, he cares about right and wrong…until it benefits him to lose his limitations. Remember that whole thing when he never told Emma about Lilly, even though what he and Snow did to Maleficant’s child really wasn’t right on multiple levels? You could write this sort of behavior up as Gryffindor ruthlessness, but take a look at some of Charming’s other traits. He’s persuasive—always up for a rousing, encouraging speech, like when he convinces everyone to stay in Storybrooke in Season Two.

Charming’s also a natural leader, and he’s very, very loyal to the people he cares about. If he doesn’t have a cause to fight for, he’s liable to become overly self-interested; think back to his weird back-story when he had no gumption and let Evil Bo Peep walk all over him, because he was only interesting in protecting himself. And so ultimately, Charming would make a pretty good Slytherin. Or he’d ignore this, choose Gryffindor anyway, and irritate lots of people…which is basically what happens all through the show.

HENRY MILLS
(Ravenclaw)

Initially, Henry was a bit of a challenge for us to sort (which is IRONIC, considering he’s about the same age as all the kids who get sorted in the Harry Potter books…because Dumbledore is an IDIOT and the Sorting Hat System is FLAWED—we’ll do a post on this later). ANYWAY, after a little bit of consideration, we decided to put Henry into Ravenclaw, for several reasons. One, he’s intelligent. Henry’s not just book smart, he’s also a problem-solver: he did figure out the original connection between his book, Storybrooke, and the curse. He’s observant, too, and he’s interested in solving problems, hence his many “Operations.”

Next, Henry is quite independent. He is not so much self-reliant, like a Slytherin might be—Henry’s not afraid to ask for help when he needs it. At the same time, he’s extraordinarily competent, and if he needs to get something done, he has the ability to follow through himself (seriously, how many ten-year-olds would go to the lengths that Henry did to find their biological mothers?)  And of course, Henry is quite resourceful and intuitive; he was the one to believe that Regina could defeat Zelena with light magic in Season Three. Moral of the story? If you’re ever in trouble, get a Ravenclaw on your side.

REGINA MILLS
The Evil Queen (Hufflepuff)

Evil Queen=Slytherin, right? Well, maybe if you’re like J.K. Rowling, who sees the word evil and just throws the person in question right into the House of the Cunning. But if you happen to be a rational, brilliant person (like you probably are) it’s pretty easy to accept that Regain Mills—and the Evil Queen—are actually in Hufflepuff. Yep, that’s right, Regina Mills is a Hufflepuff whose circumstances have forced her to harden herself to the world.

Before Cora killed Daniel, Regina would have jived pretty well with Storybrooke Snow White. Regina’s loyalty was to her parents, and she had a strong moral compass, (remember how she risked her life to save Snow’s, a girl she didn’t even know?). Even when Regina became the Evil Queen she was more of an angry Hufflepuff than a Slytherin. Regina used her authority as queen to issue death threats and bully people into doing what she wanted, rather than using Slytherin manipulation and charm. And even then, her loyalty to the people she chooses to care about never wavers, and that Puffly determination doesn’t either, even when it’s used for evil (i.e. her determination to kill snow).

KILLIAN JONES
Captain Hook (Ravenclaw)

Killian Jones is probably the hardest character we’ve ever had to house. He’s charming and manipulative like a Slytherin, witty and original like a Ravenclaw, and he has those infamous Gryffindor morals. Killian’s character also drastically changes over the course of all six seasons of OUAT. You could say that he started as a charming Ravenclaw or Slytherin, and transitioned into a Gryffindor. Because Killian is so vertical, you’d have to take his opinion into account when housing him. Remember, the hat listens to your input too.

And undoubtedly, Killian would put himself into Ravenclaw. He does sort of have that I-am-a-special-and-beautiful-snowflake complex, and so naturally he’d want a House that reflects his individuality. Ravenclaw is probably the best fit for Killian anyway—he’s exceptionally sharp, and he tends to solve problems with external knowledge (after all, when Belle was in the library that one time searching for a solution on How To Save The Stupid Fairies, Killian didn’t mock her for turning to books for a solution. Instead, he dove right in and helped her look.)  Could one make a compelling argument for Housing Killian as a Slytherin? Eh, probably, but part of that it because Killian himself is caught up in his Slytherin persona. You know—his whole bad-boy, black leather, sexy smirk thing. But beyond all that, he’s a Ravenclaw at heart.

RUMPELSTILTSKIN
Mr. Gold (Slytherin)

In many ways, Rumple is a stereotypical Slytherin. He’s driven, cunning, manipulative, bold, charming, and the list goes on. If we were to list examples of how he displays his Slytheriness we’d be here all day. Think back to every single deal Rumple made throughout the course of the entire show. Not only did each one benefit him, but some of his deals also played into his larger, master plan—like how he got Regina to turn evil so she’d eventually cast his grand curse. And of course, Rumple has an incredible lust for power, which directly conflicts with his desire to stay loyal to the people he loves, like Belle and Neal.

The thing that’s a little unusual about Rumple as a Slytherin is how emotional he is. He also doesn’t bother to compartmentalize his behavior, like other Slytherins might. Rumple’s totally comfortable with going straight from kissing Belle to chocking someone…while Belle is still in the room. You’d think he’d want to put up a different face before Belle, and do his chocking in the next room…? Either way, he’s an interesting example of how an INFP would react if put into Slytherin. Rumple doesn’t bother to compress his feelings—he lets them govern him; nor does he repress any trauma that occurred in his past (like Emma does)—No, Rumple HAD DADDY ISSUES AND THE WHOLE WORLD MUST FEEL HIS PAIN. Or die.

Who’s your favorite OUAT character? Do you agree with our Sortings? Kind of weird we ended up with no Gryffindors, am I right? (*Sarcasm*) ANYWAY, the comment box wants to know (and we do too, obviously!)