BTS Blog Week: Suga [First Love]

Credits to TsukinoFleur on Deviant Art for the Wings cover.



Yes, yes I am aware that this is like the second time I’ve used this gif in two days, but it’s my bias, ok.


On this lovely Tuesday, we are going to be looking at my bias: MIN YOONGI AKA SUGA THE KING OF ALL KOREAN RAPPERS! (I exclude GD from this). Anyways Suga’s solo song from Wings is called “First Love,” and it’s basically his ‘love story’ with his first love, the piano. I apologize if this post is a little gif heavy, but he is my bias so what can I say?



The corner of my memory
A brown piano settled on one side
In the corner of my childhood house
A brown piano settled on one side

I remember that moment
Way taller than my height
The brown piano that guided me
I looked up to you
I yearned for you
When I touched you with my small finger
I feel so nice mom I feel so nice
I played the piano wherever my hands took me
I didn’t know your significance back then
Back then I was content with just looking at you

I remember back during my elementary school days
When my height became taller than yours
I neglected you when I once yearned for you so
On top of the white jade-like keyboard
Dust is piling on
Your image that has been neglected
Even then I didn’t know your significance
No matter where I am
You always defended that spot
But I didn’t know that would be the last
You say don’t leave like this

Don’t worry even if I leave
You’ll do well on your own
I remember when I first met you
Before I knew it you grew up
Though we are putting an end to our relationship
Don’t ever feel sorry to me
I will get to meet you again
no matter what form
Greet me happily then

I remember back then when I met you that
I had completely forgotten, when I was around 14
The awkwardness was only for a moment, I touched you again
Even though I was gone for a long time
Without repulsion
You accepted me
Without you there’s nothing
After the dawn, two of us
We welcomed the morning together
Don’t let go of my hand forever, I won’t let go of you again either

I remember back then
We burned up the last of my teen’s
Yes the days when we couldn’t see an inch in front of us
We laughed, we cried
Those days with you,
those moments are now in memories
I said, grasping my crushed shoulder
I really can’t do any more
Every time I wanted to give up
By my side you said
Bastard you can really do it
Yeah, yeah
I remember back then
When I was fed up and lost
Back then when I fell into a pit of despair
Even when I pushed you away
Even when I resented meeting you
You were firmly by my side
You didn’t have to say anything
So don’t ever let go of my hand
I won’t let you go ever again either
My birth and the end of my life
You will be there to watch over it all

The corner of my memory
A brown piano settled on one side
In the corner of my childhood house
A brown piano settled on one side


Okay, so my brain is dead from writing analyses of college things and honestly, these lyrics are seriously deep, so I am not going to go too in depth. But you could write an entire paper on this song, no lie. To begin with, the thing that’s always struck me about this song is its musicality: the way it slowly grows in intensity to the point where you can feel the emotion and rage spitting out at you through the lyrics.


I love Suga’s rapping because he can make his voice sound so beautifully unhinged and this song offers the perfect vehicle for his ability: it is essentially a story in and of itself, a narrative on the loss of innocence and the death of childhood. To start with, there are the symbolic implications of the piano. I think it’s pretty clear the piano is meant to represent the narrator’s first love…but why a piano? I mean, the majority of the song is based around the idea of finding this one love and how it’s stood by the narrator through his various struggles and trials, the “first love” at times presented as an actual lover (“After the dawn, two of us/ We welcomed the morning together”), at other times something like an older brother (“By my side you said/Bastard you can really do it”), and other times as a mother figure (“My birth and the end of my life/you will be there to watch over it all”).


I would interpret this as the piano not representing a single person or one specific first love; I would say that the symbol itself is something of a duality, sometimes indicating an idea, other the times posing as a person representing another aspect of that idea. And what would the most logical “first love” of a musician be? Music, of course! This explains the choice of the piano as a symbol, and it gives the song a certain amount of physical beauty, with Music being portrayed as a childhood lover, a teenage sweetheart, and a respite from depression and stress. I think there could be some direct references to Suga’s actual music career, as indicated in the lines: “We burned up the last of my teen’s/Yes the days when we couldn’t see an inch in front of us.” To me that sounds an awful lot like a depiction of his years as a kpop trainee, the “we” being his bangtan hyungs, and the music being the one thing that kept him from giving up…See, I told you I could write a paper on this song! But whoops this has already gotten terribly long…sorry Clara!


Ok, so Hermione might have gotten scolded a little for writing such a deep and beautiful analysis of “Reflection”, leaving me with nothing to do but make awkward connections to the short films, so with this song I am taking a little bit of a different approach. I’m a bit of a music nerd myself, so as well as looking at the actual lyrics of “First Love”, I am looking at the track itself and how that works with the lyrics to create the story.


The song is Suga’s love story with the piano. It begins softly, a line spoken by Suga with a few simple notes played in the background. It is, of course, stylized for artistic effects, but it gives the overall impression of a child playing the piano. As the song continues, the piano builds, becoming more complicated as Suga’s skill with the piano grows. The ticking of a metronome is also present for much of the background of the song. As the metronome ‘keeps time’ it also marks the beat of the rap and clocks in Suga’s time with the piano. Their time together is not unlimited.


At a point in the song, Suga turns away from the piano for a while. The piano becomes a metaphor for music as well as being his ‘first love’. Unwilling to lose his connection with the piano, Suga returns to his music. As the song continues it almost seems like he begins to talk in the piano’s voice: his voice takes on a bouncier tone when he speaks the words of the piano. (This is just my personal theory btw, so try not to read too much into it).
Suga goes on to talk about how the piano, now representing his music, continued to stay by his side through all the tough times of his life.


As they pledge to be loyal to each other and always remain by each other’s side, the piano disappears from the song. Music is still present in Suga’s life, but it no longer needs to constantly make its presence known. As it comes less often, it becomes more meaningful to Suga. The song reaches its climax. As the song winds back down and reaches its end, Suga repeats a line from the beginning of the song. He returns to his childhood, his life becoming a closed circle that begins and ends with music.

Your cover art for today was done by @squishlylilyoongi AKA CLARA QUEEN OF THE WORLD:


Bonus gif of Yoongi being himself:


That’s it for this post! Tell us what you think in the comments!


–Clara & Hermione



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