In order to avoid becoming this despised bookless person, we present to you our brand new feature that will ensure you’re never bookless again. (And if your TBR pile is already threatening to topple over and squash you—well, how much harm can three more books really do?) Each month, we’ll recommend three reads to you—and out of these, you can discover which one is your perfect book-soulmate by taking our lovely little quiz.
- Ladies, what do you look for in a guy?
- Blindness and sass
- Argyle Sweaters and SAT vocab cards
- Missing limbs and tragic backstories
- (For our male readers): What do you look for in a girl? / (For the ladies): What kind of heroine do you most enjoy reading about?
- Social awkwardness and mad computer skills
- Snobbery and sarcasm
- Blonde hair and hidden powers
- Who’s your ideal bestie?
- A grubby kick butt mechanic
- A cynical sports nut
- A brainwashed nymphomaniac
- Which would you rather read about?
- Love blossoming in the Sahara
- The rise of the spandex wearers
- Cracked fairies chasing orphans through a jungle
- Which quote gets your heart racing with booklust?
- “Did you see [her hair]?! It was like a cross between a magpie nest and a ball of yarn after its been mauled by a cheetah!”
- “My stepdad is a cow-raising, truck-driving, chicken-feeding craftsman of maxi-pads.”
- “As you can see, lass, the place you came from is very, very far away.”
(Our content charts for each of these three novels can be found at the very end of this post.)
Cress by Marissa Meyer
Fairytale retellings…so overrated, right? Um, you haven’t met The Lunar Chronicles. Book one features a cyborg Cinderella, book two is Little Red Riding Hood and mutant soldiers, and book three is Cress. Cress (aka Rapunzel), is a painfully shy computer hacker trapped in a satellite. She’s also majorly crushing/stalking on Carswell Thorne, this generically sassy hot guy.
Read to answer these invigorating questions: Will Throne ever love/stalk Cress in return? Will they ever escape the Sahara (and how did they get there in the first place)? And will Kai decide to have chicken or pork at his wedding?
A Charmed Life Series by Jenny B. Jones
Bella Kirkwood is the queen of sassiness and sarcasm. Once the belle of Manhattan, NY, she’s suddenly dumped into grimy Oklahoma when her mom remarries a SPANDEX CLAD MAN. When she’s not agonizing over Prada bags and murderous, psychopathic football players, Bella tries to prove herself to the sadistic (but hot) school newspaper editor with her stunning snooping skills. Trust us, it’s one of those books that make you laugh so hard you end up spewing tea everywhere.
Unhooked by Lisa Maxwell
For anyone who’s in love with Killian Jones of the TV series Once Upon a Time, this book is basically his autobiography. Except, here Killy goes by “Rowan”, and he has a metal hand instead of a hook.
The book is supposed to be about Gwen, the typical YA Chosen One, but let’s be honest, we all know who we’re really interesting in reading about. *WINK* If you enjoy Neverland, lots of death, and an insane Peter Pan, this novel is your dream come true. We promised you’ll be hooked.
If you ended up with an equal amount of A’s, B’s, and C’s, well then, dearie–just read them all!
|Graphic Violence||Some intense fight scenes|
|Disturbing Elements||Genetic mutations, Artificial Intelligence/Robots put on human level|
A Charmed Life Series
|Sex||A few minor sexual references|
|Disturbing Elements||Drug and alcohol references, psychopathic and cultish behavior|
|Graphic Violence||Frequent violence, but not overly graphic|
|Sex||One heavily implied moment|
|Disturbing Elements||Dark fantasy content—soul-devouring/ dark fairies|
What we’re really asking is: have you fallen in love with one of these books yet? (Though if you’re falling in love with the Killian gifs, that’s totally fine too).
The comments section is calling, chums! Tell us your quiz results, your favorite genre of literature, the problems you have training your hedgehog army of doom-anything!
And have a lovely August!